Are You An "Office Mammy"?
Borrowed from The Little Black Book of Success: Laws of Leadership For Black Women by Elaine Meryl Brown et. al. The authors describe her as "the self-sacrificing Black woman who takes care of those around her."
In one senior management meeting with a corporate client, there was this one lady who I thought was very helpful. She was on the management team. She offered to make everyone a cup of coffee or tea. She had a homemade snack. She brought the snacks around for refills. She watched over everyone's well-being during the meeting. She offered to clear the cups. During the meeting, she was agreeable with everyone. In fact, I do not quite recall if she had a position on anything that was entirely independent of everyone's suggestion. I remember thinking, "what's wrong with this picture"? I did not understand it at that time but all the unsolicited help was kinda getting on my nerves. And maybe she was just naturally helpful. Although I left with the question, "who was she trying to please."
So when I came across the term "Office Mammy" it reminded me of this lady.
It's likened to taking on the 'caregiver role' at the office.
In the name of 'breaking the glass ceiling' or 'rising to the top' many women make the mistake of sacrificing way more of themselves than is necessary!!
Yes, you can do anything, but it doesn't mean you can do everything!!
Taking on the "Office Mammy" role is a sure way to getting to #burnout fast!!
After exhaustingly proving yourself at work your day doesn't end there.
You go home and try to do the same.
But it's different at home. You are exhausted and expectations are much different!!
But are you really showing up as your authentic self at work? Or were you taught that you have to give your all in order to be noticed?
Are you really present for your family when you return home?
And when you cannot do it all you feel guilty.
And when no one seems to recognize your hard work resentment sets it.
The problem is that you have set very high expectations of yourself and you are likely going to fall short because no one cares as much as you want them to.
Fact check: there is no medal for "Office Mammy of The Year" plus your family might be feeling neglected. Check-in with them.
This is a callout to you to let you know that you can create the success you want without losing yourself.
I was never an "Office Mammy" but I know for sure that it is not a fun way to work your way to the top.
If you are would like to create success at work and at home without sacrificing yourself, your relationships, and what matters the most to you, book a call with me here or send me an email for a free consultation.
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