A girl grows up seeing her mother as the bread winner and power house in the home. Her father was very passive. She decides that she wants a man who can stand up for himself when she gets married. She unknowingly marries a narcissist.
A girl grows up with a shauvenistic father who controls her mother. She decides she doesn't want to be controlled she ends up marrying a guy who cannot stand up for himself.
Many of us have seen someone like this or we have seen people making decisions based on their past experiences. We decide that our experience was unfair, so we make a decision in hopes that we are protecting ourselves.
The unconscious brain doesn't process negativity. It will either suppress it or present it to be resolved. There's no grey area. The brain always goes to its file drawer, pulls out unresolved issues from the past, and presents them to be resolved.
These unresolved issues show up like;
I have never liked..... I was never good at..... I keep trying .... but it never works. I can't risk..... They never listen.... No one understands me. I am not good at....
I can't do....
They remain unresolved!
Sometimes we put so much emphasis on the past and actually use it as a reference to determine our future experiences.
We are so adamant we believe it's true. Then our decisions are based on that assumption.
Then another mistake we make is we try to block out our past, thinking that blocking is healing. We cause ourselves unnecessary pain! We can't block it. We benefit more if we resolve it.
Folks, it is so easy to let our past take up space in our brain. Our past is our life's experience. But holding onto it can cause us unessecary heartache.
Assuming you had memory loss, would you stop living because the batteries keeping your past alive are dead?
Yes, it is factual you can't erase your past and it is factual you cannot change it. The good news is you have control over what's ahead of you. Okay, some control. If you do not attempt to live your future better than your past, what is your purpose for this gift of life?
So today, right now, what if you decided that this is the future I want. And as you dream it you write it down, the only exception is you edit and you are adding more fun stuff? How's that? And then after that, you decide, I am now going to intentionally start creating what I have written. And by all means, you go out there and find out how you can create it.
What if creating your future the way you want is possible? The comfort of keeping the past alive holds you hostage from creating that dreamy future. Your daily intention should be that I want my past to be exactly that. The past.
Mindfulness is the practice of being present and now, taking advantage of the now with the intention of creating a better future for yourself.
I take my clients from their past focus to liking the future they envision and actually creating it.
The possibilities are waiting ahead!