Are You Stuck In Money Without Joy?
How to turn your mundane life around!
Does your work-life lack zeal and passion?
Have you settled into it as normal?
Did you know that putting up with a 'mundane' lifestyle trickles down into your relationships and in all other areas of your life?
One of my clients came to me with a mundane relationship. During the course of our engagement, she realized that the mundane relationship actually wasn't the only problem. The real problem was her mundane job. It has caused her to lose excitement in several other areas of her life including her relationships. She recently sent me a message;
''The session with Coach Janet was what I needed to be reminded of my true potential. She provided me with the clarity I needed to clearly define my goals and ably plan the next steps of my career. Her encouragement came at the right time because motivated me to pursue dreams I had given up on. I am very grateful for her support!
"I am truly thankful to you for actually motivating me to revive my dream of working in the region."RN
I get many calls from professional women in their thirties, forties, fifties, and here's what they say...
"People think I am brilliant but I don't feel as brilliant as they think. I want more but I don't know how to get it."
"I am so bored at my job I daydream all day and rush my tasks at the 11th hour because I can do them in my sleep."
"I have been in this job for 20 years and I thought I would aim for the top position but I don't know if I want to anymore."
"I feel stuck. I am bored. I am confused. I don't know what to do. No one seems to understand me when I say I want to leave."
"My work is not challenging anymore."
It took me one year to make the decision to leave my previous role as co-owner of one of the largest recruiting agencies in East Africa. I felt the burnout and stress and at the same time, I indulged in tremendous indecision.
Many women out there are brilliant but they do not know how great they can be. They are enjoying the simple pleasures that money can buy, but are stuck in roles in which they have lost passion. As a result, their relationships are constrained.
A great coach that I admire, Dr. Tangie, refers to this as 'success exhaustion'. Dr. Tangie is a successful physician and life coach, who turned what she thought was an unfulfilling medical career into one that she loves. And today, she helps high achievers align with their goals and their souls.
In her book Thrive, Arianna Huffington states that;
"More and more people, of all ages and from all walks of life, are coming to realise that there's more to life than climbing the ladder, that we are more than our resumes, and that we don't have to buy into the collective delusion that burnout is the necessary price we must pay for success." And I couldn't agree more!!
Burnout is a thing of that past when our parents lived in survival mode. When you find yourself between this rock and hard place trying to find the right decision, you are acting out of fear of the unknown. Leaving you in a state of confusion, overwhelm, detached and disinterested. The money is good but life is not as great.
So you ask, "why is it that I making all this money but deep down inside I am not jumping for joy?"
The bad news!
We often indulge in confusion because we feel we have the right to feel confused. We are still looking for the right decision or the right course of action. If this is how you feel every day about your job, how are you showing up in your relationships, your family, your children, your spouse, your parents, or your health, spirituality, and having fun with friends?
Let me guess...
You are not speaking to your spouse anymore about wanting to leave your job because you think you are complaining too much. Or he is simply bored hearing the same old complaints and no action!
You do not talk to your family about your business anymore because no one can afford to ask you to quit. And you do not know how to bring that passion back into what you do. Perhaps because the triumphs/challenges you have experienced in growing or scaling that business are manifesting as burnout.
You are afraid of making any decision that will move you forward because you are scared of the unknown. You do not know what you want to do next. Or maybe you do but you are afraid it may not work out or it will take a while to make it a success.
What is happening is that you have hustled your way to success and now that you've experienced its pleasures your soul is demanding fulfillment. In a way, your soul is tortured! Unintentionally!
The fulfillment you had came in form of external approvals. Many applaud you for your success. It defines you. Yeah, I know. I have been there! Without the joy in what you do, fulfillment becomes a void that needs to be met. And because you do not know how to meet it, this is creating a state of stuckness.
Confusion is a stealer of joy.
When you indulge in a state of confusion, you are putting the brain under distress. You are not being your word. In fact, you are not making any promises to yourself because you do not want to be responsible for fulfilling them. And if you do make promises to yourself, you are constantly changing them. After all, no one is holding you accountable.
"If you are not growing, you are dying." ~Tony Robbins
The good news!
You have reached the pinnacle of your passion in your current role, but you haven't reached the pinnacle of your purpose, passion, and success elsewhere. What your soul is yearning for you can achieve. It is possible. You just need to make the decision and be all in!
Here's what you can do to start the exciting journey to your purpose.
First, do a Simon Sinek review of your 'Why'. Chances are your values are not aligned with your goals hence the lack of passion. Once you have your why then identify your values and crosscheck them with your 'why'. Align your values with your why.
Second ask yourself this, "what is it that I am seeking that I do not yet have?" Really think about it in the context of your values and actually write it down. What are those goals that you want to achieve that you are not working towards? Take an assessment of your values and goals. Take a score for each of these areas of your life; work/career, spirituality, relationships (family, friends), significant other, personal growth, money, health, your physical environment, and any other. On a scale of 1 to 10, one being most dissatisfied and 10 being satisfied, where are you lacking? Use your results as an assessment of your goals. Your why, values, and goals must be aligned in order to achieve fulfillment.
Third, think of the many ways that you can get what you want in your life. If all the sources of this fulfillment are external, then ask, "why is it that I do not know how to give myself this fulfillment?" Ask "how can I get what I want without relying on external sources?" The answers lie within your brilliance. You have the power to get them out if you are all in. Just ask this question daily, your brain will give you answers.
Fourth, be ready to go all-in once you've made up your mind. Find more meaning, purpose, joy, and happiness in your life requires patience and persistence. Ask yourself, where can I start today to work towards finding my purpose. Look at the resources you have available to you today, such as a mentor, a book, a podcast, a webinar, conversations on clubhouse. If you need extra support as I did, ask your mentor or friend or do your research to find a Coach that would give you the guidance and tools to rediscovering yourself. It is imperative that you look for a coach that speaks to exactly what you are seeking. A money coach may have helped a friend reach her goals, but they may not necessarily be suitable for your needs.
Greatness is achieved by those who allow the discomfort that comes with growth. You are your own champion. Go get what your soul deserves!
Listen to your own soul.