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How to Navigate Support From Your Spouse as a Career-Oriented Woman

Does your spouse dismiss or undermine your aspirations, dreams, or the challenges you face in your career?

That can be disheartening and demotivating, right?

When your husband is lacking emotional support for your career-oriented self during workplace problems, he might use phrases that dismiss or downplay your concerns like;

"It's not that big of a deal; everyone goes through workplace issues."

"Why are you getting so worked up over this? Just toughen up and move on."

"Maybe you're just overreacting. Are you sure it's as bad as you're making it out to be?"

"You should learn to handle these things on your own. I can't always be there to hold your hand."

"I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding. You're probably blowing it out of proportion."

"You're always complaining about work. Can't you just leave your problems at the office?"

"Maybe it's your fault that things aren't going well. Have you considered that?"

Constructive communication and empathy are essential to fostering a supportive environment in a relationship.

When it comes to conquering the professional world, having the support of your partner is like having a secret weapon.

However, let's face it, sometimes spouses can be a bit clueless in the support department.

Let's explore some common situations you might encounter:

Lack of emotional support: Picture this: you excitedly share your career dreams, and your partner responds with a blank stare, wondering if you're talking about a new recipe or what happens in the womb during contractions. It's like they took a wrong turn into the Land of Nonchalance.

Limited involvement in household responsibilities: Juggling a career and managing household chores can be overwhelming. If your spouse does not actively share household responsibilities or child-rearing duties, it can place an extra burden on you, making it challenging to focus on your career. Somehow, your partner manages to vanish whenever there's a pile of laundry or a sink full of dishes. It's like they possess the power of invisibility.

Undermining your achievements: Your spouse might unintentionally undermine your accomplishments by disregarding or belittling them and failing to acknowledge your professional milestones. This lack of recognition can negatively impact your self-confidence and overall satisfaction. For example, you proudly announce a major accomplishment, and your partner responds with a casual shrug and a comment like, "Well, that's nice, I guess." Like they need a crash course in "How to Properly Applaud and Celebrate Your Amazing Spouse."

Discouraging career advancement opportunities: You mention an exciting promotion or the possibility of further education, and suddenly your partner turns into a human-sized caution sign, waving their arms frantically. "Danger ahead!" they exclaim. It's like they're afraid your success might trigger an apocalypse. A client once told me that she felt as though her husband was treating her ambition as competition with him.

Inadequate financial support: In certain cases, your spouse may not contribute equally to the household finances or fail to provide necessary financial support. This can add financial stress and place the entire burden on your shoulders. It's like they've joined the "League of Financial Mystery" without your consent. This, ladies, can create a whole lot of stress and disconnect!

Lack of flexibility or understanding: A lack of flexibility from your spouse in accommodating your career commitments, such as rigid scheduling or not being understanding about work-related demands, can strain your ability to maintain a healthy work-life balance.

Neglecting your personal needs: You mention needing some "me time" or pursuing your hobbies, and your partner looks at you as if you've just suggested taking up bee farming in the living room. This can hinder your ability to recharge and excel in your professional life.

But as you grapple through your challenge to be understood or helped, here's one important question you must take into consideration.


"How strong is the bond between you and your husband?

It is important to recognize that many of the challenges we face in our relationships stem from a lack of genuine connection.

In the course of our busy lives, it is easy for a sense of disconnection to develop between partners, leading to a cycle of complaints and dissatisfaction, often missing the underlying cause.

Take a moment to reflect on the level of connection you shared when you first met, compared to where you stand today. How does it look or feel to you?

Ideally, as time goes on, the connection between partners should deepen and grow stronger, don't you agree?

As human beings, we have an innate need for connection. The good news is that it only takes one person to initiate and nurture the connection we crave.

And that person is YOU!

Connection is the emotional state that arises when we think about someone. Consequently, the nature of our thoughts about our partners directly influences the level of connection we experience.

However, before we can truly experience this connection, we must first establish a profound connection with ourselves.

Developing a deep connection with oneself necessitates a thorough understanding of our thought patterns.

Now, you might be wondering how to achieve this. Let me assure you that you possess all the power necessary to foster a meaningful and supportive relationship.

Deepening your connection with yourself involves questioning your own thoughts and gaining insight into your patterns of thinking.

To assist you in this process, I am providing you with a set of questions that can serve as a guide to examine any thoughts you hold about your husband that may contribute to a sense of disconnection:"

1. What are the recurring thoughts or themes that occupy my mind?

2. Are my thoughts generally positive or negative?

3. Do I tend to focus more on the past, present, or future in my thoughts?

4. Am I often self-critical or judgmental in my thinking?

5. How do my thoughts affect my emotions and overall mood?

6. Do I tend to overanalyze situations or dwell on negative outcomes?

7. Are my thoughts mostly focused on myself, or do I also consider others?

8. Do I have any cognitive biases or irrational beliefs that influence my thinking?

9. Are there any patterns or triggers that lead to negative or unproductive thinking?

10. Are my thoughts based on facts and evidence, or are they driven by assumptions and opinions?

11. Am I open to challenging and questioning my own thoughts and beliefs?

12. Are there any thought patterns that are holding me back from achieving my goals or living a fulfilling life?

13. How do my thoughts align with my values and beliefs?

14. Do I engage in positive self-talk and practice self-compassion?

15. How do my thought patterns influence my decision-making process?

Remember, self-reflection takes time and effort. By asking yourself these questions regularly, you can develop a deeper understanding of your thought patterns and make positive changes to enhance your well-being and relationships!

Your Coach

Janet Nambi

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