Updated: Apr 14
A 3-Part Series to Living the Life You Desire Not the Life You Settle For
Challenge #3: Female Breadwinner
A young lady in her early thirties reached out to me for help. She was exhausted. She said the father of her child was not helping financially. At all! She was tired of being mommy and daddy. She wished he could at least take some burden off her.
According to NPR Nearly 30% of American wives in heterosexual dual-income marriages earn more than their husbands (Bureau of Labor Statistics 2018). Up from 18% in 1987.
So this is not uncommon.
As a sole woman breadwinner you might feel like you are juggling;
1. A hectic job/business.
2. Your home affairs.
3. Your husband’s ego.
You probably feel frustrated, exhausted, and need a whole lot of support. And for some resentment.
And sometimes you think perhaps your husband feels inadequate or jealous of your success.
📌Find it challenging to receive.
📌Protect your male partner from feeling emasculated.
📌Cover up for him when you’re out and the dinner check comes to him.
📌Give him money every month to pay the bills.
📌Argue over where and how to spend because he’s not agreeing to your suggestion.
📌Lie about his financial status.
📌Think he’s not good enough or man enough for not "bringing home the bacon".
📌Or you are single and struggle to find a partner without factoring in the zeros on his paycheck.
It is more common nowadays to find a woman as the sole breadwinner. And that is all thanks to the #womenempowerment movement. By the way which I support!!
But most importantly, thanks to the #thought that got you here in the first place.
✅ Is it a bad thing? I don’t think so.
✅ Can you change how you feel? Of course, you can.
But if you wish to change your circumstances and it is not happening here’s what I have for you.
Becoming the primary earner did not happen by chance.
It started with a thought.
For example here’s what Dr. Kimberly Golden says about herself.
“My journey into becoming a female breadwinner stemmed from a thought that I had when I was a child because I grew up witnessing some domestic violence. And I’m a forensic pathologist and patterns are my thing, right? And some of the recurring sentences that I would hear when women talked about their experience in domestic violence situations was that they felt stuck because they didn’t bring home the money. And so from that point on I said, I don’t want to find myself in the same situation. So I made a decision early on that I wanted to be financially independent for that reason."
You might think that for you it was by chance.
But we are what we are because of a thought. A belief that most of the time we do not recognize is even there.
You may have fallen in love when you were both hustling. You saw potential in your spouse. But the universe had another plan.
The good news is, if you are uncomfortable with your circumstance, you need help understanding why so that you can let go of the life you are settling for.
In the case of Dr. Kimberly, she decided to use her situation from a place of power. She helps women in the same situation to take off their capes, unload their emotional burden, and become the best versions of themselves.
p.s. As a certified mental and emotional release practitioner and mindfulness coach, I help you live the life you desire and not the life you settle for, DM me for a free consultation.
p.p.s If you'd like to discover what give you joy and meaning to life, then check out my 8-Steps to Strut Into Your Purpose program here.