A 3-Part Series to Living the Life You Desire Not the Life You Settle For
Challenge #2: Disconnected from Relationships
A client said to me once that “I do not share my success with my husband because he is so critical of it.”
As a high-achieving woman, I bet you have so many pressures, expectations, and demands on your being. And amongst them, there’s that one relationship that you wish would be different.
You might be thinking I do not feel understood, appreciated, supported, valued…name it.
The problem could be....
✔️A significant other who does not like your long working hours.
✔️A boss you are in conflict with.
✔️A teenage child who resents pushing him/her for success.
Whatever challenge you have, there's one major skill it ties back to, confidence. A belief in yourself, or the conviction that you have what it takes to succeed both at work and in relationships.
But you will be glad to know that there’s something in your power that you can do about it.
So the first thing you want to do is, be honest with yourself about the type of woman you are in this relationship. This will help you understand what your role is contributing to it.
Here's how I categorize these roles as taught by Master Coach Brooke Castillo;
📌The 'Pretending' type – You bury your head in the sand neglecting and not acknowledging what is happening, pretending to be happy. You are indifferent just going with the flow without making any effort.
📌The 'I Should Stand-Up For Myself' type – You feel you need to stand up for yourself aggressively but you are doing it from a place of anger, frustration, control and shame.
📌The 'Conforming' type – You do a lot of complying, pleasing, and denying yourself. You look for the other person's approval and yet you are resentful, hateful, and regretful. You think you’ll find peace. But peace and resentment do not reside together.
📌The 'Dishonest' type– You lie, deceive, back talk, as a form of control. You lie to your boss and you think you won. Or you lie to your spouse or teenager to keep the peace.
If you are any of these types you cannot truly connect intimately from a place of authenticity. You have to work on managing your mind.
And I get the feeling you are dying to tell me what the other person has done to you. I get it. Listen, they are in their own mind.
And if you are trying to change the other person to look at you differently, then you'll be back here next year still trying to find answers.
It is always easier to cast the blame on the other person. Why, because we lack a connection with our own self. Therefore we do not know how to find what we are doing that's adding to an already fragile situation.
The simple truth about relationships is "your relationship is only as good as the thoughts you have about it."
Manage your mind and you'll find that meaningful connection you desire.
p.s. As a certified mental and emotional release practitioner and mindfulness coach, I help you live the life you desire and not the life you settle for, DM me for a free consultation.
p.p.s If you'd like to discover what give you joy and meaning to life, then check out my 8-Steps to Strut Into Your Purpose program here.